i watched the traffic flow smoothly yet slowly. 45mph, red lights all over the rush hour evening interchange, mesmerizing, slowly yet smoothly. the red lights reminded me of a long drive from la to the bay area.
sunday, june 03, driving by myself after dropping friends off who are flying back to toronto and phoenix at lax. after a weekend get together somewhere along sunset boulevard, it was time to head home. after driving along 5 for almost 3 hours, my weary eyes must have somewhat locked into the red lights of the same car right in front of me. like i said, mesmerized. my body felt like it was still doing all of the driving while my eyes could not get off on what they were focusing for the last 10 minutes. call it a concoction of a caffeine-induced alcohol hangover wash, but the feeling felt kinda strange yet phenomenally enigmatic. ever experienced that you felt the presence of your own spirit inside you? its existence apparently alive, watching through your eyes yet your eyes felt like they were the goggles of a gas mask? like your body was just a mere cache and you were actually the spirit consciously controlling it with utter distinction.
i watched one car swerve in front of me and then merge back to its original lane. determining how fast my own lane goes, i carefully remembered the car’s make and see if i will go past it along the way.
nothing feels better than listening to what’s inside your ride while stuck in the mix. i probably may not have reached the entire 9 when it comes to covering all genres but i tried a selection that fits best for each driving mood. after hearing jars of clay’s ‘love song for a savior’ after all this time, i decided to listen more to that uplifting genre these days. talk radio is replaced by the sounds of baroque and renaissance artists. alternative and hip hop to audio cd’s, and news has been tuned out and turned down for daily affirmations. don’t get me wrong, i still listen to hip hop and hard rock during my lunch hour workouts. but lately it’s been positive affirmations ringing in the head all day long. the effect is phenomenal on a personal basis. sharing personal thoughts to you if you will.
one car screeched its tires and almost rear-ended the other, another one blasted its horn to a careless driver; its viking-like horn sound did no effect to the unintentional driver who almost creamed its ride to another, and so on and so forth. i watched intently while a thought asked if i was doing this out of sheer boredom or as a trivial mental exercise. thus, an insight to add an excuse to the former:
we gauge our lives on how other people are doing. some are the typical rides like civics and corollas, just going with the flow. the others: m3’s and a4’s, finding their status quo on the road; the ones outstanding: ferraris and bentleys: living the life that they deserved in their lifetime. still, others may lead different lives, or even try and hide other lives. they may drive their corollas while their greater lives are garaged in their other lifestyles. others are determined by status quo and external influences, and the rest of the makes and models are just like that; makes and models. while most lives are determined by different driver hats on each lane, each direction, each traffic flow, each light, each sign and each driving mood. ‘the rest is all comparison and motion,’ they say.
personally, i do not believe on that tenet. the driver decides what make and model he or she chooses. what the driver can conceive and believe, he and she can achieve, according to napoleon hill. the roads are conditions and circumstances on where you choose your life to be. you can either choose to take a bumpy road or a well-paved one. you can plan and decide to prevent accidents or take calculated and manageable risks on your decision. the long and winding road is just that: long and winding. the kind of road and attitude on the way you drive is up to you.
alas, my ride sped over the other car that i have been tracking since it cut me earlier.
don’t mind me, i’m just talking to myself.