while folding fresh laundry, it looked like i lost another couple pairs of my socks.  the sock gremlins were at it again.   i asked them if they could wait until i’m done folding.  but somehow the thought of fresh dark colors enticed their thrills of taking my stuff without conformity.  they somehow had a good taste for dkny and ralph lauren.  i didn’t care about brand names like i did before, but instead of giving me fair warning of their harry houdini’s, they never showed up.  and on top of that: never left a trace while defying the household laws of quantum laundry.   it’s like the institutional market having slippage because of liquidity issues.  or everyone believing in diversifying funds while ignoring the fact that 90% of financial institutions could not even beat the market.  the much talked about disappearing act of these whimsical entities was driving me quite nuts.  my head then started projecting a re-enactment of what had happened over an hour ago.

i was staring at the washer.  and as usual the clothes were tumbling through the thick white lather. the intermittent rolls reminded me of one of my worst falls while snowboarding.  after going high speed downhill, my board sent me flying after an attempt to stop, tumbling and bumping my head several times against the cold snow.  one boarder asked me if i was ok, i guess i was. 

i asked the clothes in the washer if they were ok, i heard no answer.

so i guess there wasn’t much sherlock holmes in that picture.  i laid the black hack//sign shirt on top of my black pile of clothes.  the 311 shirt on the top pile did not seem to complain as i covered its glaring color.  i was never into anime or manga until my brother started buying dozens of dvds.  he got the hack shirt for free.  to return the good karma, i bought the 311 shirt to my brother as a christmas present.  he didn’t seem to like wearing it.  thus, i took it back as if it were my own again… with his permission   i guess the shirt liked me, praising me for taking it out of the hot topic store in serramonte, so it never bickered up to this day.  kerik may have abdicated his nomination due to nanny immigration issues, but the black shirt still remained a happy camper.

i would have given a pair of my socks to those gremlins as freebies, and not just as an indian giver.  but sadly, i would give away the socks that had a hole on one pair.  my former roommate didn’t care if he had a hole on one of his socks.  his indifference with socks won’t matter after nyu law. so eleanor roosevelt was true.  ‘do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.  you’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.’  i started folding the other clothes.

my cycling shorts was in the hamper and didn’t make it to the color load.  i didn’t follow nike’s washing instructions so i kept seeing thread sticking out on some angles.  i could have included it with the whites but i’ll end up having funky looking marks had i not checked for color fading.  before starting the washer back on, i looked back into my closet to find that i had one towel left, so i could throw all the white towels into the washer.  comparing socks to the law of increasing opportunity cost: the amount of other products which must be foregone or sacrificed to obtain a unit of a specifit good. economic resources are not equally productive in all possible uses.  the gremlins must have had an alan greenspan version of their own.

after laying all of my boxers on pile, i decided to use a checkered one that i just took from the trunk of my car.  a part of the extra clothes that i use when i used to crash at someone’s place during the party era.  the boxer’s blue juxtaposed lines would compliment the checkered long sleeves that my mom gave me for my b-day a couple years ago, only that it was worn underneath the jeans.  the fashion statement was former pantera bassist rex brown’s on their album cover photoshoots. 

my association was a tribute to the late dimebag darrell, co-founder of pantera, and an unmitigated guitarist of the heavy metal world.  he died after getting get shot 5 or 6 times in the head at point blank.  your guitar tablatures are still resting within the recesses of my head, the groundwork to how my fingers emulated such guitar skill since age 13.

while almost all of the clothes have been folded, i finally found the 2 other missing pairs.  the last and intriguing pair was still at large.  naturally, this world is programmed with minds that do want to keep up with the joneses, nguyens, singhs, chens, or delagarzas.  and then there are some that essentially don’t.  relativity is the word.  i decided to close the case of that particular missing pair.

after taking a shower, i wore a fresh pair of socks, the ones that i just pulled from the dryer.  if the gremlins bring that other pair back, then i guess i wouldn’t care less now.  if the missing pair was worth a billion dollars, then they would have pushed me to find a way of getting it.  my lady wouldn’t have seen all of  these things happen when she comes home everyday, but it’s one of those little things that could be expounded like it were some part of universal theory.

still, i’m looking forward to my next laundry investigation case.  another pair.

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