from the untold…

i stared at the dog, its smoky eyes just about to fall into strange oblivion.  i have never felt such warmth caressing its innocent mumblings.  it closed its eyes as the cold tiles soothed its longing for a homeward perspective.

fifteen years back, i’ve never felt such greatness taking care of a dog.  a boxer, nonetheless.  with its melancholy eyes staring at the bright sunlight, i’d always cheer it up, wondering if a bright smile would come out of its first impression of sad countenance.  on and on the years went by, and the dog’s years swung by its toll.  i didn’t want to accept the truth that age was going to be the answer to its final departure.  every night, i would stare at the ceiling wondering that very next morning all i’d see was a motionless momento of all the years that i have spent.  listening to its cries when it looked for its mother, and then finally accepting that there was only me to look up to when it needed help. 

and then that day came.  it pleaded through its last moments, thanking me for always being there when it needed my company.  i wondered, where would i be going without it to the park?  where would those precious times of destroying sand castles be without a companion?  i was going to be alone forever.  the dog heaved its last breath on my lap, leaving me another eventful reason to shed away the heavy tears that have been building up in my chest.  i stared at it like forever was never going to end at all.  like the word itself was nothing but a lie and an eternal course of dominating change.  it was never going to be the same again.

i stared at my gradeschool pictures.  i saw myself hugging this huge dog.  it was as if i’ve never had any emotion for it by the time i saw the memory.  but everything came pouring like the sudden chills down my spine.  all for a treasure that i thought i had forgotten.


just the beginning of the end.  i realized i had to go deeper into this nothingness.  all i saw were unconscious minds floating on top of their dead ancestors.  nothing has changed, only that a chosen few have come to claim this consciousness.

perhaps it’s just the beginning.


6 Comments on “”

  1. Anonymous says:

    so sad.. 

    and ya… my xanga is weird… i think its trying to tell me to get premium hahaha…. >=[
    and there is no ayami’s fan club…. =[  if there was one… i guess u and i are the only members haha…

  2. Chiapet502 says:

    where have you been rk? i thought u were a gonner from the xanga community!

  3. cute_t says:

    I WANNA CRY!!!!    for this very reason, i can never own a dog.  i just could not deal with the inevitable…

  4. Ms_Crasy says:

    heh thanks for your concern 🙂  nahhh i dont get migraines.. i dont even remember the last time i got a headache. 
    sorry about your dog 😦  i lost mine in a friggin’ monsoon in korea.. sadness..
    and ayami’s wrong.  i am #3 in her fanclub 😀

  5. Anonymous says:

    I feel you…my 1st pup ran away… on a brighter note–you write like poetry! =)

  6. Ms_Crasy says:

    hahaha so they can ram their chests into unsuspecting victims’ eyes. 
    i think…

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