got this from bipolarmeow’s page:

http://www.asianavenue.com/Members/Me/personalpage.html?MEMBER=FinallyTomorrow

the guy has good insights.  sometimes i just want to get back to asia and do something about this unstoppable epidemic.  we’re all living in a bubble here in the u.s.  we haven’t seen the real shit yet.  i wonder how it is being an operative of a government who wants to fight against these different forms of insurgencies.    you kill a thousand people who oppress the weak and innocent, stealthily skydive out of airplanes at twilight, bomb terrorist camps, use high-tech equipment to infiltrate drug rings and legitimate black markets, save prisoners.  but when you’re dead, you’re really dead.  it’s a one-life mission next to your grave.  my description does sound like that of a typical video game.  who cares.  or maybe too much ruoroni kenshin.  his master told him that no matter how he kills a lot of lives to avenge justice for the innocent, those lives are also human lives.  lives who live normal lifestyles when their minds are not at war. 

i’m delusional sometimes.  but can i die for my motherland?  maybe.  i’ve seen the poverty when i was in asia.  sometimes i just get mesmerized about what i should do with my life in this sheltered community; when out there there’s a whole lot of people dying.  a homegirl of mine decided to do volunteer work in a war-stricken country after graduating from ucla.  her parents were terrified about her plans.  the devil’s fate was sealed, she was off in a few days.  i wonder how it feels like dodging bullets and falling debris while helping the suffering.  and now she’s in oxford pursuing her masters degree in international business.  call me crazy but maybe i like to get a piece of real life sometime.  or maybe i should be careful about what i ask for. 

i’m already appreciative with this life engulfed in transcient utopian blessings…

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2 Comments on “”

  1. dingbatkim says:

    thanks ____ (i don’t know ur first name.. what is it btw?) .. i actually have that book. i got it from one of my bosses the first day i started working. i just remember hem and haw.. hahah.
    you’re homegurl sounds like such a great person to know.. so unselfish! i wish everyone was like that..

  2. Barbs says:

    compassionate people make me want to be a better person.  but, what good is talk?


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