now for a good rant… um, i dunno.
work wasn’t bad to bitch about in the first place. accounting? i liked it. i’ve liked numbers ever since. it’s weird but somehow i was attracted to the patterns that it encompassed in every aspect. analytical geometry, calculus, statistics, taxation, whatever, whatever. so yeah, i liked it. acquiring the experience for a few years helped me a lot. worked with law firms, medical institutions, .com’s, architectural firms, and the rest. met a lot of people, didn’t mind the others who were haters, and moved on to be a better person. i’m just rambling. so randomly. the suits didn’t matter anymore. i wanted to be more comfortable at times. see how the internet bubble greatly influenced my preference? still, they said image could make an important person out of you. sometimes i’d just have to say “fuck that shit. i’d rather be me.” happy, tried to be down-to-earth. i guessed it worked. the character. i still liked talkin to other accountants of different firms. managed the a/p side, helped with billing, did g/l stuff, assisted with other financials that expanded my knowledge. i just thought it didn’t really matter where you came from. it just happened to be important on where you’re happy at. you graduated, with honors if given, and still you had to toil all of your efforts. life wasn’t easy to begin with. all these loans could drown you. so maybe that’s why there’s this thing called capitalism. you had to find gold out there. it’s always been there. you just had to look for it. so those who didn’t even graduate but started good businesses, i’d give y’all propz. of course education’s everything. on a personal note, that is. i’d like to learn more, be out there. more than the physical. geez, these entrenchments are chained to my feet that i had to find the key to set me free.
this was just the start of everything.
partied once, partied again. hotboxes, ghettoness assimilated, riots, scams, slangin’, heartaches, breakups, infidelity, sickness, death. to some cases influenced by the media. lived the life of a pauper and berserker; wanted to be a modern-day sage. enlightenment could be difficult, but it’s there. read books every lunch hour. read more after work, read more until it was 2am. volunteered, hip hop dance classes, kung fu, played a lot of sports, made flash webpages, performed in a rock band, wuteva, wuteva…
and burnt out for a bit. wanted to be alone for a year. it happened. lived away from anyone i knew. away to the mountains. desolated. the world engulfed my very existence was far away. space invited me to ponder more. then the light shone again. it was time to go back. that period was just a measly a portion of life. about 0.01%
i knew i had to do something with my life and this tormented world.
needed stimulation. went back to the loop. back to the beating. capitalism. evil yet seriously challenging to the lost sheep.
it was bound to happen. gonna start this business someday. just one more step. had to shed more blood to get there. it’s there.
the silence soothed indiscriminantly. playing sepultura’s “chaos a.d.” didn’t help that much.