“dude, you’re playing with fire.”  i told my friend who’s been seeing four girls at the same time.  he met most of them at school although he’s been serious with the one living a couple of blocks away from him.  the rest he considered acquaintances whom he could study with from time to time.  he just got laid off from his job so he’d been helping his mom with their humble family business.  “and that’s why i’ve been chilling these days,” he explained why he didn’t want to see any of them.  his skrilla was all tapped so he had to lay low until his mom cuts his first paycheck.  “maybe your employer sensed that your penis needed a raise and they released you before it was bound to happen,” ej was being sarcastic.

ej came in with his girlfriend.  she wasn’t feeling well.  she didn’t know what must have caused her to feel nauseated after the ride from san mateo.  “well you didn’t have to worry about that if you got yourself out of that loop in the first place.”  she hated players for some reason.  she must have construed her argument to the game.  ej wasn’t.  he quitted smoking ever since they hooked up.  ‘reminds me of the movie ‘half-baked.’  he used to be skinny the first time i met him in a house party.  three years passed.  we’ve all changed, got in and out of relationships.  but the friendship was still there.  we hung out at clubs once in a while but we eventually got tired of the scene. 

jb was feeling restless.  he was nonchalant to the frivolous remark.  he wanted to check out 550 barnevald again.  “i know, and how in the world did you get involved with all of them at the same time?”  he’s km’s cousin.  they had been hanging out ever since they were kids and he had never expected him to be in such a situation.  he had known his cousin as the silent type in any circle, only being boisterous with a few close friends.  “it don’t matter,” he cut the brief silence, “anyone want to go clubbing tonight?” he asked all of us.

i was tired.  all i wanted to do was chill.  the lazy afternoon sun shimmered throughout the translucent curtain.  i wanted to take a nap but i couldn’t.  “i dunno, man.”  i’ve been partied out and burnt out at the same time.  i just felt like i needed some outlet to let go of my stress from that week.  i just thought that if i hadn’t gone raving, partying, and clubbing for the past few years, i would have probably saved something worthwhile.  but this was my life.  i had to learn how to let go of all these cravings by indulging myself with all of the interim pleasures.  they wanted to check out ibiza when the evenings started to get warmer.  i remembered homebase just right across the 880 stretch.  the hegenberger exit became popular because of those two landmarks besides the oakland coliseum nearby.  at 6am and still wide awake, i’d wait for two hours with my friends looking for one of my buddies who wound up at a girl’s place while these raider fans got ready for the big game.  two years later i ended up driving for my friends who got wasted from the concoction of long islands, red bull vodkas, and tokyo teas.  the girl whom i exchanged numbers with became one of my good friends. 

“you’re not listening.  hey, you there.” at interrupted me from my pensive train of thought.  she wanted to check out a house party that same night.  she had the notion that houses had sofas that you could land on, free drinks that you could grab onto, and generally a safe haven unless the neighbors call the cops to eventually break the party.  the last house party at walnut creek had a good vibe otherwise.  “so are you rolling with me or with them?”

have i been so dumbfounded about taking the opportunity to meet girls everywhere?  i’d go to the gym everyday and my workout buddy tells me about these good-looking women working out.  my lame response was i only came here to lift weights and not hit on some girl.  i could have gone out with sh but she went out with ge whom i also knew from the gym.  wouldn’t it be weird if you went out with your friends’ ex’s?  i would have felt awkward.  the circle kept on discussing about trivial matters while i felt a head rush.  they were chatting while watching someone play gta vice city.  “see, every place is a social place…”  i didn’t pay attention to jb’s telepathic response.  it was as if he had been reading what i’ve been thinking. 

i was still tired.  the intermittent reminisce was getting more distant by the moment. 

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One Comment on “”

  1. Barbs says:

    i like this style–different.
    funny, same ol’ stuff going on everywhere.  different faces, same lives, same convos, same same same. the sameness of it all is depressing.


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