an end to violence.

and he asks me, “how was your weekend?”  i would have been stunned by his cordial inquiry.  but for over a year his fronting is just a mere face that could be broken by an iron clad, spurting blood and veins that get torn from the colossal metallic thump.

“it’s none of your business.” i replied with a fake smile.

i’m not sure what the other co-worker might have said.  he could have been another fly on the wall if i started coming out of my shell.  both of them have been tag-teaming to take me off the team ever since.  be it by subtle or formal corporate rudeness.  i just knew it. 

well, as a matter of fact.  the reason why i got so mellow in my workplace was because of my boss.  he’s got this huge patience working around him despite the pressures of deadlines, accruals, financials, audits, and reports.  that’s where i got my understanding that there’s no need to be angry at things that the working mind may find overwhelming.

but after one year of swallowing hard just to see if everything changes?  too bad, someone just got on my bad side.  and he’s going to be in deep shit.  i’m still going to be nice to other people.  but this old fart who’s been in the academia?  i could not imagine how he backstabs everyone along with his chatterbox accomplice. 

“could you imagine that it only takes one blow to keep that forever-talking mouth of yours to shut up?”

history is such a recurring cycle.  once some people thought of me as a hardcore thug who didn’t belong to the workplace.  through experience i shedded all of it away.  it wasn’t worth it acting like someone who needs to protect himself all the time from artificial forms created by paranoia.  after finally understanding that it did really pay to be nice, i decided to keep myself open and prone to attacks.  i tried handling them.  i did.  none of which affected the entirety of any innocence that i overtedly set as an example. 

too bad someone’s in my bad side now.  let me see the stats.  99.9% of the people i’m good with.  but this other one i have no respect for whatsoever.  will i lose my job?  i know that i’m only concentrating on school next semester.  a lot of recruiters are still calling me about changing my mind someday.  yeah, it all runs with pride within me as of now.  you like me or you hate me, the misery is all yours. 

the workplace wasn’t the real world to begin with.  it’s the extension and stepping stone of our foremost dreams.  the rest of the hours i consider the opportunity to grow more of what we truly want to be.  and i wonder by how far do we have to tread on more steps to get to the highest level. 

still, i’m nice to everybody else.  as i look around to see the garden blooming with flowers, i realize that the problem i’m talking about is nothing but a spec of dust ready to be dumped to where it should be.


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