love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only with what you are expecting to give -which is everything – katharine hepburn
it’s been a while. i must have been busy. got another parking ticket, just finished paying the traffic infraction, received more stuff to do; this life is just so worth it. i’ve been setting my alarm an hour early since my body unknowingly programmed itself to take an hour nap after i wake up when the clock sets off.
i was digging through my things when i found an old journal. my log of weightlifting exercises and repititions, rendezvous with people whom i used to party with, first introductions, the threshold of friends’ relationships, dates and just plain chill time with girls i used to like, conversations with ex’s, volunteer work, comments on my school performance, past school plans, all that stuff. it just seemed like yesterday.
wire train’s ‘chamber of hellos’ just got me nostalgic of a beach concert i attended a few years back. buzzing with my friends, that new wave song playing, the tropical sea breeze in the cold night, people dancing on the white sand. i keep on going back with memories for some reason. they seem to remind me about my past happiness. oh those people. the innocent beginnings, the naive personalities, it’s affably strange.
it’s really strange seeing my old handwriting from that journal. it still looks quite similar, but there are nuances from the contemporary. i remember adapting the lyric font of nirvana’s in utero album in highschol, to the italic print, then back to the normal print. i still have the letter a under the nirvana print. after reading the connection of ‘handwriting & personality’ by ann mahony, i rectified the necessary lines that i noticed. delirious? no, there’s a connection. i am not absolutely correct on everyone’s handwriting, but i can tell the least general persona per se.
i seem to be happy being by myself again. ‘was thinking of asking someone this valentine’s but i decided not to. i didn’t want to give false expectations. a date is a date, but i’d rather not create another misnomer of truth.
the case is peculiar, i wanted to go out, i wanted to find someone again, but now i lost all of that interest. another voyage to the higher realm, or i can be wrong. these pretty girls in my workplace seem to end up as good friends if not off-limits because they’re taken. either way, i’m not expecting anything. i’m happy with myself. i’ve searched for another hermitage again and i found it.
i’m still bad with my compositions. this is informal, but i strive to work harder like an english major. it’s for my own good.
gotta get back to my work.