on anger.

how do i have to put up with all this crap?  i do try to be nice to people in the workplace.  and as a matter of fact i’ve got no problems with almost anyone there.  the only sad part that ever happened is one of my co-workers in the same department is having this grudge on me.  can he please get a life?  he’s in his 50’s and he needs to take someone his own age.  call it whatever or not, this guy has got to grow up still.  well, how can you add more fire to another one that’s already been burning?  why would i add more problems to him when he’s already got other personal problems?  see, the thing here is, if you act rude, you cultivate rudeness all around you.  if you try to be nice, the niceness permeates all over.  i’d rather be nice.  i’m just not sure how some people might learn.  it can’t be the hard way in this case.  it’s not a fight-fire-with-fire situation.

i don’t know but it’s totally not my problem.  i’ve once overheard when i first started that a couple of them were even tag-teaming on me.  they’d think i’d give up.  hell-fukin no!  eat that shit, biyatch!  dayam, some people are so tactless when they say shit.  too bad the corporate workplace has ethics.  they still haven’t seen the real me on the outside.  i’ve tried showing it one time but it’s not even worth it. 

it’s easy getting angry, but it’s not easy getting angry at the right person, for the right reason, at the right time, and the right place.  –aristotle

‘not quite sure if that was aristotle’s.  i even paraphrased that.  i’ve learned something about the art of acting dumb and feeling stupid when accused in the workplace.  used to work at this .com place couple of years ago.  i just realized that one of our a/r accountants is being prejudiced about my boss.  i’m not really sure if it’s prejudice or racism but everytime he hears my boss talk on the phone with her boyfriend, he’d crank up some loud-ass heavy metal tune on his mp3 player.  hey, like i don’t play that kind of shit?  i’ll make the guitar scream and so will you.  ok, enough of that.  it’s not even about who knows how to twang axes.  how could someone be so indifferent about someone’s mannerism or culture?  well, this former boss of mine is an african in america, and her oakland ghettoness comes out when she talks to her boyfriend at work.  i mean i don’t mind… i’m not even getting to my point here yet.

one day after a meeting, i asked this co-worker to have a talk with me in the lobby.  i confronted him if he had any problems with me.  well all of these because i’ve been trying to defend my boss in the name of respect.  that’s where the biggest workplace realizations hit me.  he started acting dumb.  he denied my allegations.  of course they were allegations.  but i just wanted to ask.  now i’m the one who came out stupid.  next couple of weeks i’d hear him im his other co-worker about me and my boss.  well workplace ethics still comes in.  he can’t talk shit right in front of me but i know there’s something going on. 

i would admit that i was immature myself.  i learned something about that incident from that time on.  the later haters i’d meet in the other workplaces would just be confronted with the art of acting dumb.  a former co-worker at the law firm actually stressed that modus operandi on me when times need it in the outside world.  i just didn’t get to apply it in the workplace until that great realization.  and now when someone gets rude on me i’d just try to act like nothing had happened.  well…

let me put it this way.  the psychology of rudeness and incivility in the workplace is one of the rising issues the american industry is facing.  one of the ultimate solutions to that is corporate forgiveness.  something like that.  hey, i try to forgive people and move on.  don’t get me wrong.  sometimes it’s not really about me.  there are other issues out there on why they had to act that way.  we can’t just think about ourselves all the time.  people may be already experiencing tremendous dilemmas before they get to the workplace.  ok, i’m doing that reconciliation thing.  but what if you’d seen it happen over and over again.

one thing i did, talked to the h.r. director about it.  i’m not sure if that was a smart move but i’m sure it did bring up some awareness to a co-worker’s shortcomings.  the next moment i knew he started being nice to me.  vengeance isn’t and would never be mine.  i never asked for it anyway.  i came to the workplace to work and not make enemies.  how can i be productive in the first place if i do the latter anyway?  i could just see a logic of this situation compared to sports or anything related to teamwork.  if you’d get annoyed but your other teammates you won’t even be to function as a team.  i’ve been playing sports since my teen years and i’ve noticed this trend and principle work either subtly or overtly, one way or another.

what i noticed.  they’ve been acting so rude to me.  when i do something good to them, it makes them burn with shame.  not that i like it but the feeling makes me more fulfilled the stop their hate cycle and just reverse their negativity towards them.  still, there are some out there who act rude.  i’d either make them drown to their misery or as someone would say: repel their energies with the strength of your own and make it come back to them, making them absorb it all the more.  ok, now that’s bad.  but imagine ignoring someone who talks nonsense to you.  or even giving a stupid answer to his stupid question.  the one antagonizing might not even think he’s that smart at all.  yakity, yakity, yadda, yadda, blah, blah.

next, to the logic in the streets.  why would you even be pestered by petty remarks of those who start shit with you?  it’s not even worth it.  the wise grandmaster does not show his powerful energy until the right time arises.  it takes a lot of patience.  i’m not a grandmaster, anyway.  but i’ve learned that principle from different perspectives of martial arts.  even business today practice the chinese book about the art of war and another one about japanese feudalism.  don’t even show your enemy that a knife just cut him.  ok enough useless talking.  my mind is just running a bunch of words right now.  i’m just doing the output.

one book i also read regarding this ancient south american spiritual paradigm talks about 4 great principles.  i forgot the title of the book but one of the pointers say that you don’t have to take things personally.  people have their reasons on why they act that way.  i still have to learn a lot about that.  i guess my steam just went out.  i couldn’t just imagine how much more reps on the weights i’ve been lifting while thinking about that shit.  the adrenaline rush does loosen the tense body in some ways. 

the mind is so powerful.  once you think about something that makes you angry, your body just feels so agitated and only self-control can stop it.  once you feel hot about a significant other even though you’re far away from her but you’re telling her that you’re having this funny feeling in your tummy, it still gets to you.  no wonder the statement ‘happy thoughts.’  there’s just a lot to know about the psychology of our thinking. 

i feel better.  i’d forgive now.  i should stick to my program.  i can handle this.  another test.

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