sunny, sunny saturday.  what a day.  my korean roommate just fixed my notebook and i lost all of my files from the last hard drive that just got corrupted.  oh well.  so much for past portolios.  i know it’s a great loss but there’s only so much i can do.  i still have to find some other alternatives with dell if they can help me retrieve my years mostly worth of word processing work. 

i just noticed that i haven’t been writing that much compared to the past holiday.  life has gotten busy again, and i like it.  so much to read, and i like it.  so much to learn, and i like it. 

going to san francisco sounded like a good idea but i thought of just reading more articles that should be more important for next week’s lectures.  i could have just gone to stinson, baker, or ocean beach to catch some rays while walking;  hang out at some friend’s place while catching up with current events; or just do stuff there by myself.  i guess not for now.  there may be a lot of parties going on in the city tonight as well but i’m back to my laid back phase again.  i’ve gotten so laid back that i even felt lazy looking up interesting reading materials at the oakland public law library when it was even just a couple of blocks away from my driving path.  we’ll see about boalt.  i just can’t wait to hear from g.w.’s state of the union address.  just lots of reading, i believe.  superbowl weekend is tomorrow and i was just wondering where to hang out.  there are a lot of places to go to but maybe i’d just go up to my family’s place and spend more time with them.  sounds like a good idea.  we’ll see if i won’t be lazy from tai chi but los altos should be a done deal. 

our department just had lunch at boulevard early friday afternoon.  it’s not the same as when we had our former c.f.o. lunching with us on occasion.  things had to move on.  arrived at the embarcadero area; place wasnt bad.  ambience was that of a victorian french setting.  i saw prints circa 1800 on the wall that were similar to toulouse lautrec’s.  he was the pioneer of that kind of print art anyway.  just reminiscing.  at least we get to talk about stuff other than work.  i guess we do, but the stretch of time is limited when you’re in the workplace.  i ended up running after time since i had a deadline to finish.  went out well, i guess. 

i’m crazy, just like some would believe in james wright’s poem.  everything seems to fall into place but there’s something that i am not doing right.  i am happy nevertheless.  everytime i have this weird feeling of uncertainty do i keep on reminding myself to stay on track.  i’m playing with some other people’s emotions, and it’s not truly right.  i should just give them the smoking gun.  does ‘friends’ look like a good word?  yes, i do want to be in a relationship, but i’m not ready yet.  i dunno.  i should clear these things out before they get worse.  truth sets everyone free.  figuratively.

ok, lemme read now.


2 Comments on “”

  1. dingbatkim says:

    u don’t necessarily have to be so forthcoming w/ the truth.. if u feel like just being friends there are PLENTY of ways to make that clear to the other person (given that the person has 1/2 a brain).. don’t mention “friends”.. it’s lame. try this… in social setting, point out random guy and say, “why don’t u go for that guy over there?.. he looks like ur type..”… don’t know what type of reaction ur gonna get but it just might work.. you’ll have made it obvious that ur ‘a friend’ trying to hook another friend up.. well, that’s just my 2 cents..

  2. rkteck1245 says:

    ‘might try that.  thanks.  i just wanted to be by myself again.  if i could only dig deeper into a woman’s emotional state would i not worry about hurting someone.

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