everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself –leo tolstoy

i had to get my sleep-in the entire saturday after waking at twilight to turn in my paper.  pretty serene.  i decided to put the 3d gator board images, that marketing ditched after their client presentation, near the sliding door to the patio of my room figuring that there were some unwanted energies from the outside invading my own.  feng shui has helped me understand the connection of nature and everything that revolves around it.

my roommate stayed awake for 36 hours straight finishing a bunch of papers.  his lady called him to come over her place to watch the niners game.  i still had to regain my strength after pulling exculpating all- iters for the past couple months just to get things squared away, work-wise, activity-wise, sports-wise, and school-wise.  i started feeling chest pains at first and then my back started hurting so bad that i had to pay my h.m.o. a visit sometime this month.  i was thinking of going to the grandmaster of the kung fu school that i went to since he knows accupuncture.  maybe today sounds like a good day to go since i’m going to sf anyway to study with my friend and donate some blood to a friend’s daughter.  just too much stress these days.  hey, who said i didn’t like taking it.  tai chi kickboxers have learned the art of absorbing painful blows and turning those energies to their own strengh.  i talk about too much energies.  running along college avenue just made me miss the usual running i used to do in sports training and at the gym before.  i had to get back into that physique.  hopefully.

some tragic moments in history.  francesco borromini was hated by his sculptor and architect mentor bernini out of jealousy.  just imagine how much power during the baroque period – even encompassing a wide span of human history – the church can do, through political cronies, to deny commissioning borromini of further work until he lost every possession and took his own life after so much grief.  what a tragic ending for artists like him, reubens, and many more.  my anti-thesis: try opening other doors after the other one has closed.  rage against the machine’s proactive statement always calls against the government’s shadow of power as they socially rouse people’s minds of political propaganda. 

whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform –mark twain

i had to do my laundry soon.  one of our senior associates threw a party at his posh house in the sf area.  he’s gay in terms of sexual preference, but i totally respect that.  i grew up with gay people, my mom knew hair stylists and dance instructors who were gay and they’d always come to our house, i had former teammates who were gay but they were the ones making the huge points for our volleyball team.  it all boils down to respect.  i’d rather be open-minded and yet be straight my entire lifetime.   

someone told me that san francisco tries to act out like it is a very liberal city but it really isn’t.  i can still see subtle forms of racial profiling and hatred in the society.  but why do i have to deal with all of these?  all i know is i respect and whoever doesn’t can rot on their own problems as i get on with the program. 

i met most of my co-workers from different teams and got a huge grub-on since i saved my tummy for this ocassion.  someone wanted to go salsa dancing but i decided to leave early because i had to wake up by 6am sunday. 

much to my realization, my unconscious hand laid its protocol, turning the alarm off as i dozed to my oblivion.  i woke up with a good 7 hours of rest and found out that i can’t make it to los altos any more.  bummer.  i’d make sure that these next coming weeks would be nailed with concrete action.  i thought that leaving the party early was reasonably tantamount when my british-indian co-worker had to leave early as well as i gladly offered to drop her off to north berkeley bart station where she parked her car.  another good excuse for me to bail out of the party early.

i didn’t know that my co-worker could speak italian after getting used to her english accent.  her parents went to italy since her dad worked for the united nations.  u.n. was good in supporting her family.  her sisters and her were well-educated and they were given free plane tickets to visit their homecountry india, besides italy, every 2 years until they were 23.  u.n. also paid for education when she studied at cal.  such luck.  she still misses italy but is planning to visit her sisters this christmas.  they moved to england before she rebelliously decided to go to the u.s. to further her studies when she was 18.  independence with good financial backup, i’d say.  it’s still nice working with her, and the rest of the firm.  my professionalism wears down at parties such as last night.  hey, who said a peck on the cheek was not casual after exchanging good-byes?

so i have to get ready and prepare everything that needs to be taken to sf.  laundry along college, head to sf state library and stay on the usual peaceful third floor with a friend, and wait for a friend’s daughter to call me for blood donation. 

i totally forgot about my younger cousin’s birthday in vallejo.  i’ll go.  ‘rather make this weekend a good hectic one to reminisce.

the pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. –william arthur ward


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