thursday, and i decided not to go out.  a lot of my friends are in castro now.  they’re enjoying the festivities in one way or another.  the people upstairs are having a blast with their halloween celebration.  some sort of a mosh pit is perhaps happening from the sound of those trampling steps resounding as their music keeps me frozen for a second.  i cannot be a mendicant of such enjoyment for it is not for my own social circle but theirs.

i got to talk to my old friends whom i haven’t seen in a while.  i used to go out and party with them a lot during the weekends.  times have changed i suppose.  some of them are just plain hanging out, sipping on wine while the jazz music is playing in their dimly-lit living room.  the others have just decided to download stuff that they believe could help in their favorite hobbies like anime and all that.  i think my call log has hit more than it ever did during the past months.  i haven’t been using my phone unless it’s important or i just feel bored and wanted to bug my friends with casual nothingness.  being tired of overusing something is a broad yet vague posterity issue in my case.  i get tired of everything no matter what.  the only thing that captures my perpetual searching is beauty and wisdom.  now how equivocal could these two terms be? 

the thumps get louder.  i was even planning on hitting the sheets a little early tonight, not even thought of tinkering with this log.  but somehow i felt restless.  the anxiety of going out has died, however.  i played my guitar for an hour and i’ve felt quite alienated from the rowdy world of people shouting and dancing upstairs. the scourge of the noise to some neighbors didn’t seem to bother me at all.  there’s a thin line between being confined in totally mute mindset and the outside noise and i have just achieved it.  too much philosophical dissertations are bombarding my applications.

coming to work at an earlier time wasn’t a bad idea after all.  but what did i end up doing?  just taking care of the employee expense reports.  i had a lot of stuff laid out in my head to conquer this day, and i didn’t manage to.  one thing for sure, the halloween party got me stuck when i started playing the guitar in the firm lobby.  our accounting system server crashed when i was just about to synchronize everything to go out on schedule.  the contingency plan turned out to be a squalid expectation, but it didn’t get to me.  tonight’s exam was on my final battle for this week.

my boss is leaving for australia tonight.  i think he’s already on his way.  i’ll be reporting to kb and i think that’s not a bad idea after all.  i’ve already learned a lot from him anyway.  patience was the greatest so far.  he had seemed to change as what i’ve noticed.  his inauspicious ornery on me has shifted gears if i look at my perspective.  i think i’m getting the whole picture on how i started now.   no need to elaborate.  all of us have learned from it.  i see less cracked egg shells.

i still have my shortcomings when it comes to deadlines.  reengineering in terms of my work schedule had to be initiated so i can come up with a strategy to expedite my productivity and be on time.  i still have a long way to go…

just focusing on books right after class really paid off these past nights.  i’m back online.  i still have work tomorrow.  i’m happy regardless.  i will be meeting my cousin right after class so i can have fun with his bachelor party.

efficiency can also be micromeasured on how many times you touch your papers.  the more you touch them, the more ineffecient your work is. – as how my boss sees it with getting it done with paperwork

i am tired. 


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